Each time I am asked this question I think of a different answer. The simple answer is that it was on my bucket list and it was coming down to one of the least things that I needed to cross off. The more complex answer is that there are a lot of things that I needed to say! I often wonder if it was right or wrong to try and crowd them all into one book, however it is what it is.
The main theme is the silence of motherhood and I do believe this was the tipping point which allowed me to move forward. It is so stark and so real the first time it hits you as a single parent and you are left alone in your house. I imagine it is the same for all parents, not just those who are single for whatever reason. You long for a moment to yourself when your children are younger, and you would go to great lengths to get it. Then, you get what you wish for – in droves – when they are older. You are unsure what this means or what to do with yourself.
Silence is experienced in so many ways, by so many women, that the story needed to be told. From actual loss of life, to loss of voice, and uncertainty about heading down a new road, women are faced with fighting many of these battles alone. At times it is because the grief it so raw that there seems to be no justifiable way of sharing it. How can the loss of a child be communicated in words to another? It is an emotional journey with no end in sight.
The Silence of Motherhood is a story of grief and loss, yet it is one that reminds us to find the joy, humour, and passion in each day. My passion can be found in my children and the freedom to be whomever I need to be. My joy is watching them become their own people and wondering if I had any influence on the paths they have chosen. My humour is in trying to defeat a rectal suppository before it defeats me…
You’ll have to read the book to find out what that means!
Dr. Victoria Jones is a surgical oncologist who lives with her two adorable sons, Logan and Lucas, conceived via donor insemination. She has published extensively in scientific journals, and won research, teaching, and mentoring awards. She enjoys any type of learning and/or self-development, travel, cooking, and wine. She spends her free time transporting her children back and forth between their myriad of exciting activities.